Do you know that all your actions are determined by your feelings?
Check out this episode to hear about how feelings can be indulgent or productive, and then decide how you want to grow as a result of this knowledge.
Then, if you are looking to finish charting faster so you can go home sooner for what matters most to you, rather than live in feelings of overwhelm, please join me for a free masterclass 1/4 with 1 FREE CME credit available.
- Register for the webinar HERE! (https://coaching.mededwell.com/finishcharting)
During this episode you will learn about;
[0:00] Finish Charting Faster Webinar 1/4 – Save Your Seat!
[1:48] Today’s episode is all about the feelings that fuel us.
[3:08] What are feelings?
[5:03] How do feelings drive us to do things?
[7:15] The arrival fallacy
[9:12] What kinds of feelings are helpful vs. unproductive?
[11:23] Indulgent emotions
[12:59] Productive emotions
[14:45] What productive emotions do you want to cultivate this year?
[16:59] Thoughts that hold you back
Above are the episode show notes and below is the transcript via www.otter.ai.com. Some episode transcripts have been edited more than others, but they are up in the meantime to help those who would rather read and for searchability on the web. Extensive editing has not been prioritized as I seek to both produce regular content and maintain my own wellness. See the website disclaimer if you have questions, since this is all for your education and entertainment only. Enjoy!
Dr. Ryan Stegink 0:00
Do you finish your charting at home, in the evenings and on weekends, missing out on dinners, events with family. Other times that you’d rather be doing something else, I want you to know that you are not alone. I want to invite you to join me January 4 at 9pm. Eastern, for a free webinar to help you finish your charting faster, so that you can get home sooner for what matters most to you. You can sign up the link in the show notes. I look forward to seeing you there. Welcome to the med Ed well podcast, where physicians get empowered to take the next step in their wellness, personally, professionally, and financially. I’m your host, Dr. Ryan Stegink, a practicing general pediatrician and online entrepreneur. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the MedEdWell podcast where physicians come to be encouraged and challenged in their wellness journey to take that next step, whether that’s mindset, or something else, because I want you to grow. I want physicians to be leaders in their clinical space, to be present with those that they care about outside of work, both at home, with friends with family, and whatever matters to you. I’m so thankful for all of you who have engaged with these concepts who have been listening and sharing these episodes. I really want this to be what you need. So if you haven’t already done this, I’d love for you to leave a review, to send me a message and let me know how this has impacted you in your life. I heard from someone even just this past week about how they had taken steps to change the ergonomics at work. And it really made a big, big impact for me, knowing that it was something that I had talked about back in episode eight, I think that was still having an impact for them. So today, we’re going to be talking all about the feelings that fueled us. Why do we do the things that we do? How do feelings keep us stuck? Or help us move forward? And how do I get from here to there? Why do we even have to get in touch with our feelings in the first place? So in my last solo episode, I talked more about life coaching generally. And previously, we talked briefly about feelings. But yeah, I wanted to go into this a little bit more deeply to show you how feelings really drive all of our actions, what we do what motivates us feelings, that could include feeling happy, sad, mad, frustrated, proud, anxious, maybe defensive or worried. In particular situations, maybe we have multiple feelings. And we have thoughts about our feelings. And a lot of times we think that our feelings are caused by our circumstances. So today, we’re talking about feelings. In My Life Coach School training for Castillo, the founder of Life Coach School, describes feelings as a vibration in our body, caused by a sentence in our mind. And essentially, that thought, then generates feelings. It’s a sentence in the mind, that causes a sensation in the body. When you ask someone, for instance, my daughter, how they’re feeling, you may get some thoughts. They may say, I’m feeling frustrated, I’m stressed, or this is stressful. I’m angry about this. But it’s important to tease out what our thoughts and what our feelings could be feelings of anger, joy, relief. And these feelings when you really get in touch with how your body is experiencing, experiencing these feelings that may show up as particular tension or an energy in our bodies. Depends on how each of us experiences that these feelings are not just from unconscious thoughts, those automatic ones. We also want to feel things and so we work to generate those feelings. So, first, we have what are feelings. And we talked about that sentence in the mind is leading to a sensation in the body. But then secondly, how do feelings drive us to do things? We think that accomplishing something, a particular result will get us the typically positive feeling that we are desiring, whether it’s feeling happy, or proud, accomplished, having peace, joy, feeling relaxed. But often, if we’re not yet to that result that we think will give us that feeling. Or maybe circumstances change, and that result isn’t even possible. Currently, we think a lot of times, it’s, I’ll take this on myself and say, for me, a lot of times, it’s easy to think that a particular feeling is out of reach. But after going through coaching, and seeing how these things work, really, these things, these feelings are available now. And it’s about taking the time to hold on to some intentional thoughts that allow us to then get to those feelings. Because circumstances don’t create our feelings. Our thoughts about those circumstances are what create those feelings, and then allow us to take those actions to get the results that we’re looking for. So it’s important to slow down and to think about what thought do I need to get to a particular feeling, I can tell myself, I am a good doctor, which can then be useful to generate self competence. I can then take actions, reading articles, how I care for my patients, how I communicate with family members, and other consultants, ultimately generating the result of me being a good doctor. But if I wait to say, Oh, I, maybe I’m a medical student, and I am not a doctor yet. And so I can’t have that self confidence, because I’ve never done that before. Or I’m not to that point yet. That arrival fallacy of thinking when I’m there, I will feel a certain way, when I have achieved passing my boards, graduating residency, buying that house, getting to a new job being able to cut back on my time, as opposed to living in those feelings of joy, of peace, of self competence right now, because of intentional thoughts that I’m choosing to have. And there may be times that there are circumstances that are not what any of us would have wanted. But even in the midst of that, the thoughts and how we deal with those situations, can allow us to have productive, productive feelings that help us move forward. So we’ll come back to productive and indulgent emotions in a little bit. But these intentional thoughts, that’s all well and good, but each of us lives much of our life in the automatic, the natural, the unintentional thoughts, which many times can leave us experiencing a host of other feelings. Apart from the joy, peace, self confidence. But it’s important to note that life has both positive and negative emotions. I wouldn’t know what happiness or joy really was like, if I only experienced that emotion. And we think that it should be mostly positive feelings. And it’s easy for many, myself included to try and resist or trying to escape negative feelings, which can lead to various things such as buffering, or other things we use to distract ourselves or try and get away from that negative feeling, which we’ll cover in a future episode. But only as we learn to experience our feelings, to see how that resonates in our body and realize that maybe the feeling we think we’re having is actually a little bit different. And there are unintentional thoughts behind both these positive and negative emotions.
And then by allowing some of those emotions, we can then choose, as we come to awareness of where we’re at how we want to have intentional thoughts to help us move forward. So we’ve covered so far, what our feelings. Second, how feelings drive us to do things, how we want something, we want to feel a certain way. And so we let that drive us. And this can be a really good thing when we want to feel that feeling of joy or of love, so that we can take those actions, to be able to build a better relationship, to be able to build a better career, to grow as a physician to grow as a human being who cares for others. So we said first feelings, feelings, they drive us to do things. And third, I want to go into what kinds of feelings are helpful, versus indulgent, and maybe unproductive. So typically, these indulgent emotions have behind them some sort of automatic or unintentional thoughts. These feelings often feel good in the moment, but they don’t help us move forward. These could include things like feeling confused, overwhelmed, pity, anxiety, self loathing, feeling defensive, and feeling pleasure. For instance, when I’m confused, it’s an excuse that allows me to remain stuck. And not to seek out some feeling some thought that allows me to be curious to have a feeling of curiosity, and allows me to take new actions to say how might I do something to confusion can be an indulgent emotion, and it’s unproductive. Maybe I feel pity. And I wallow on what I wish I could have had on a decision I wish I would have made two years ago, or 10 minutes ago. And how I am desiring when I can’t have because that’s not the situation that I’m currently in. Maybe another indulgent emotion is feeling defensive or anxious. And I may cling to routines or things that are particularly familiar or safe. Whether that’s how I show up for my kids and safety as a pediatrician, or how I’m maybe a little bit more cautious on the roads. But if I’m honest with myself, really, some of these things end up holding me back. On the other hand, there’s useful or productive emotions that are often generated from some sort of intentional thoughts. And these are things that ultimately are able to serve us. And lead to action may include feelings like feeling inspired, love, thoughtfulness, feeling determined, focused, creative, even discomfort, and fear can be useful and productive emotions. Now, some of these aren’t particularly positive feelings. But as we’re able to think the thoughts that allow us to get there, and then experience to the discomfort, we can intentionally take action, discomfort in particular, each of us in medicine knows this. From studying for exams and boards along the way, you may be able to find other examples, whether it’s working out building relationships with a family member or with a partner. And I think this is definitely an episode that you’re going to want to go back and evaluate how you’re showing up in your own life. And reflecting on your own experience in the past and how discomfort and fear and feeling determined how those things have showed up for you in the past and where you might want to go in this new year. For me, in 2023, my word is discomfort. I want to experience more discomfort. And when I initially this word came to me I was a little bit taken aback. I was like really, but it’s actually important for me, because I want to grow and so Though if I’m staying in my comfort zone, if I’m staying safe, I’m not experiencing the discomfort that will allow me to then be able to take action actions that maybe I haven’t done before, because I want results that are different than I currently. Have you been getting? I want to go about beyond my comfort zone and get those results. I want to do that with my physical fitness, with my business, with my marriage and my parenting. So that’s me. But what about you? What productive emotions do you want to cultivate this year? What thoughts? Are you going to have to think in order to get there? Maybe, what indulgent emotion Do you want to increasingly let go of, maybe its overwhelm and confusion. Maybe that’s something else. For me, as a new homeowner, I’ve had to work on this in the past year myself, having to choose curiosity, and to grow into various home projects, and getting things done. And doing it myself. It’s also been a opportunity to remember that I am one person, and I can’t do it all myself. And so enlisting others whose expertise is there was definitely been a good thing to learn, especially when it came to the heater and the gasline. wasn’t messing with that. So, again, maybe for you it’s overwhelm. But maybe it’s not with tasks around the home. But maybe it’s around your charting. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself, I can’t catch up, I can’t chart in the room. And this queue of messages will never get smaller. Now, if that’s you, I want you to join me for coaching. To help you finish charting faster, and get home sooner with all your work done, so that you can be present for what matters most to you. I want you to click the link in the show notes to learn more. The doors are gonna close for the current cohort a little over a week from when this episode debuts. And though there will be more opportunities in the future, I just don’t want you to miss out now on this opportunity to take a step forward. To allow those feelings of overwhelm. To look at to examine what are the thoughts, those stories that you’re telling yourself that are holding you back? Because you live in that overwhelm that sense of dread, feeling anxious, rather than a feeling of self competence, of peace? Of how am I going to get this done, and take great care of my patients and get home sooner for what matters most to me. I want you to come and join me and discover how your feelings can actually help you with your charting so that you can get the results that you want. I can’t wait to hear how this episode has impacted you. Whether with your charting or in your life. I want you to reach out and let me know what you have learned and what action you want to take going forward. I want to thank you for joining me today on this episode of the MedEdWell podcast. I want to encourage you if you haven’t already to leave a review, and to share this episode with a colleague. Each of us has so much to offer the world, our families, our colleagues, our friends, and our patients. I can’t wait to hear how you are taking your next step forward and making a difference today. Thanks so much for all that you do, and have a great day. And now for our important disclaimer. Dr. Ryan Stegink is a practicing general pediatrician. But the MedEdWell podcast does not reflect the views, opinions or beliefs of his employer nor is affiliated University. Additionally, the MedEdWell podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered advice regarding financial, legal student loan medical or any other specific topic. In such a case, you should seek consultation with certified professional in that particular area. Again, thanks for Joining us on the MedEdWell podcast Have a great day